Am I Being Fooled By This Nigerian Man?

How would I know I’m being fooled by a Nigerian man and not seriously considered for marriage and living a beautiful life together for ever?

***Editor’s Note***

I get lots of short questions daily about dating Nigerian men, relationship, question about infidelity and whether you are being fooled or used. I want to dedicate this thread to questions in that category. You can post here if you have issues with Nigerian guys, whether you are confused or looking for straight tips about dating Nigerian men, this is the page for that.

We also have a comprehensive article about Naija men somewhere on this site, including information about getting married to a Nigerian guy and marital proceedings

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  1. Ditty  February 18, 2018

    M dating a Nigerian man from Owerri and very much in love with him. Our first date was at de Mall. Later hotel. He said he stays with his cousin who moved in after their house got burnt. I am a bit nervous he might be telling me lies. Late lastvyesr He asked me to accompany him to his Social Club closing party and I at. He later told me it was cancelled. He visited his family in Nigeria for Xmast holidays. He asked me to assit him with a travelling allowance bcos his friend run away with his money which was meant for his travelling allowance (thats what he said to me) I promised to deposit to him de small money that I have, which I did. Whilst home, he takes time to respond o my chats or answer my calls bcos He claim Electricity fault and trying to save battery. He was supossed to return back late January but cudnt bcos he claimed to have missed a connecting flight from Lagos back to SAdue to a delay of his departure flight from Owerri (welm he brot that to my attention whilst at Oweei Airport if that’s true. He then promised to return sooner to be with me. Later he started to attend to my chats and calms. A week ago he has asked me to assit him to upgrade his ticket to travel back to SA. He check on me every morning and sumx during the day. A week ago we were on a romantoc chat and said he was with his Mother and wanna spent quality time with her since he is due to return back to Mzantsi. Suddenly he dropd the chat and asked me to chat further at night but instead he sent me a gdnyt msg. I asked him why did he suddenly divorced our chats and he said his Mom asked him to massage her willing feet. I need help since I sense that this man is playing me games and playing with my. Ive asked him to send his names as they appears on his Passport n Passpiry number for me to upgrafe his ticket myself. He had since nit done so but keeps chatying to me. Does he luv me or what? I called his MTN number, but it gives out a common sound unlike a different sound of calling international. Pls help me I don’t know what to do.

    • Charles  March 10, 2018

      Hello Ditty, it’s quite obvious from your comment that you were in love. You so much wanted the relationship to work which brought about your commitment. Face value judging from your story, the signs are very strong that this person who claims to love you is not living up to expectations. You have spent your cash on him more so your heart. I want to advise you tread carefully. Don’t waste your resources again on him. it’s shameful act on his part begging you for money, no sense of masculine dignity and no act of true love from him toward you. I want to advise you to pray to God He answers prayers(if you believe in God ). God could bring a true lover your way and you will experience heaven on earth in your relationship. Remain blessed.

  2. Ditty  February 18, 2018

    He uses his SA MTN number but surprising. When I call him, the ringing tone is an ordinary one as he is in Mzantsi when I expected it to give n international sounds. I refuse to believe that I am fooled here but subject to ur advices.

  3. Joyce Rodgers  February 12, 2018

    Hello my Nigerian friend pull a good one on me.He pretended to be of the same faith Iam one of Jehovah witness. He pretend to be so spiritual in tune. We chatted online for about 10 months.He promised if he came too America he wanted too meet me. When he did he stopped in another state. He got upset without because I wouldn’t jump at his beckon call. I was furnishing him iTunes cards100.00 mostly fifty dollars ones.Last week he dumped me after he got that last itune card from me. He blocked all our communication. It,s just like he was a dream and now he is gone.Now I’m left heart broken.

    • Dorothy Crawford  March 7, 2018

      Wow so sorry my sister of jehovah witness me too was like you 9 months, he claim to love, the same as i but when i didnt send hum miney for visa to come to america he wanted to be friends on facebook i love him so much he was a igbo we have to be careful satan is every where i wasnt going to keep feeling like i wasnt the only one even though he brought me dresses over here in usa but i didmt feel jehovah presence in him he always wanted to fuss about my money and he loved womens oh my

  4. Aubrey  January 13, 2018

    OKAY , so . I know this is gonna sound crazy but I need answers, I am 20 years old I work at this club in Atl as a dancer . I met this African man there . I sat beside him to fix my heels and we talked for a minute and he asked for a dance. Afterwards he gave me 100 dollars for one dance . I thought it was generous so I gave him my number in the hopes that he would come back to the club to see me. He is 30 years old . He would constantly text me and ask me to come see him and all this sweet stuff and I wouldn’t . One day I was going to Walmart and when I walked in the door I saw him walk by with one of his friends. I didn’t say nothing in hopes that he didn’t recognize me. I then bumped into him again in Walmart and waited until he left to text and ask him if he was there . He tried to see me again and I told him no . That night he showed up at the club and kept asking me to come over and dance for him. So I did. He was so nice he actually convinced me to hangout with him. I had a friend come along .. he didn’t like the friend and claimed she was taking advantage of me. She ended up doing something dumb and leaving me there and taking my phone by accident long story short he convinced me to stay everysince . At first he would text me 24/7 always going out his way to be sweet. Then his roommates gf and I started talking and I told her I had a suspicion that he had a wife and she said I was smart and that she too had thought her bf did and they were about to go back to Africa . He didn’t tell me he was leaving yet so I asked him and he confirmed that he would be soon. She got jealous because I was staying there and tried to tell her bf that I said all these things that she had originally said and right after that he bought me an apartment and put it in my name and then left. At first it was fine and then he started ignoring me and not talking to me for hours he doesn’t call me 9/10 unless he needs something but he always says he swears to god that he loves me and that there’s no other woman. One time in his phone before he left a message came up and said “when’s your white wedding” I thought because I am white they were talking about me but now I’m not sure . He’s always talking about is starting a family and getting married but at this point I feel like its brainwash but I don’t know why . And then sometimes I think otherwise . This morning he called me to make sure I got up and then called on his video and I seen a band on his left hand that I had never seen before but I decided to act like I didn’t see it . When he does call he only calls in the car . Or he would call me in the bathroom at first . He hasn’t introduced me to his mom or dad just some of his cousins and brother. He’s got his own money, and his life together I don’t know what he could get from being with me ? He was supposed to be home already but hasn’t made it home yet . He keeps making excuses . Please contact me by email or something I’m not sure if I even know how to get back but I would like to speak with you privately for more details.

  5. Other Commenters  September 3, 2017

    by: David
    Wow!!! Conman? well I don’t really know what to say but seriously, I need to get something straight. Most black people that claimed to be from Nigeria are actually not Nigerian. Severally I have decided to spy of some of the guys reported on this thread and several other threads like this and guess what? they were from Africa alright! but not Nigeria. For some reason, conmen like to say they are from Nigeria. With regard to your story, pls forget the guy and move forward! There are millions of decent Nigerian men, Men are all the same everywhere, there attitude is often only hampered by their environment and circumstances surrounding it.

    If you find irregularities in any man, it doesn’t matter his origin, follow you heart and move on.

    THEIR truth is not necessarily YOUR truth
    by: ThankULagos
    I have been dating my Nigerian boyfriend for almost 2 months now. I have read so many forums about ‘Nigerian conmen’ and it almost, literally made me lose something that may possibly be the best thing I have ever had. I am a black American, and although I hear that the cultural differences may cause a rift, he is completely fine with sharing cultures. Even this coming up weekend, we’ve planned to have an African dinner and the next morning, we’ll have an American breakfast. He definitely loves to be dominant, but he is just as well submissive. We share our views, morals and values. The forums I was reading, painted such an ugly picture of him and as many negative ‘stereotypes’ I hear of black women, I had to sit and really think about what I was doing and how unfair I was being. Just like the ‘Nigerian conmen’ stories, he could very well judge me the same as being a black American for our stories. Ladies, pay attention to your red flags, your intuition. It is given to us for a reason. My man is from South, South Nigeria and is the upmost gentleman, and is very proud of me. He loves to introduce me to his friends, he talks about me to his family and even invites me to visit him at his job. I won’t even mention his passionate kisses, how he looks into my eyes and the billions of times a day that he calls me beautiful. He says he is the luckiest man on earth to have come here and met me but little does he know, I feel lucky. I have had terrible experiences with my own kind here. Sure, you’re probably thinking, idiot.. it has only been 2 months! But like I said, I can get an American native here that would do me just as bad, if so… so what the hell?! Live a little! With that being said, just don’t be foolish. He never asks for anything, as a matter of fact, he’s always offering and whenever he says he’s going to do something- it is done. I expressed once to him how paranoid I am about his honesty, due to the forums I read because truthfully, his Visa expires soon. I could have sworn I heard his heart shatter, and he said he didn’t want to pressure me or make me think he is in this just for citizenship, so I should take a break away from him. That was the longest 3 days of my life! He never shoves his soon expired Visa or citizenship down my throat, he rather not even discuss it. I am who bring it up because I’d hate to fall in love with someone one minute and lose them the next. Because of my worries, he was willing to lose me just so my mind and heart is content. That break killed me but showed me a lot about him. It showed how unselfish he is, and NON conning, as I was influenced to assume, that he truly is. I couldn’t hear his sexy voice, his loving and kind words, and had no one to talk to who actually listened and genuinely cared about my day. He came to America almost 2 years ago, he had a job PRIOR to meeting me (most black men BORN here rather live off their woman/mom and can’t even spell, yet along say ‘job’), he has a place with his brother (which means he is paying bills..signs of responsibility) and is currently looking for a cash car. My point is, so what if he’s a citizen or not?! As long as he is showing initiative of his own life and is truly making effort, I say love that man til he proves otherwise. My man has even expressed staying here after the visa expires, and if that fails, I go back to Lagos with him. Not once has he stressed marrying him so we can be together forever or whatever other Romeo & Juliette lines I have read that was fed to some of these ladies, you get my drift? Stop listening to other women’s stories and experiences, and attend to your own experience. If a little voice in your head says BEWARE! Then do exactly that. But make sure it is based on conclusions gathered from what you are seeing and feeling, not some woman whom you never met and is upset because she continues to make bad decisions in men. No two men are the same, as no two women are and if they are, it is because you continue to choose that type…the wrong type. We are all raised differently and what one man eats, doesn’t make the next man shit. Think about it.

    Good luck, open your mind…and if they are worthy, open your heart! ❤

    Is my Facebook boyfriend a scammer???
    by: Brim
    Ok. So I met this guy on Facebook and we hit it off right away. I typically never give guys a chance, especially on Facebook, but something about him was different. We said the “I love you’s” really fast. We’ve been dating for about a month now and he has asked me for money to help him with his rent. It made me instantly question everything. I had been used before by guys and he knew this! So I was confused when he asked me this. I instantly expressed this concern with him and he said he was not after my money. He just needed help because he has no one in his corner. I suggested several people he could stay with like family members, friends but he told me they had no room for him. I told him I didn’t even have enough money to concert half of his rent. But he said it was OK, just send what I have and it will help to show his landlord. I was really upset, because I felt like he was trying to find any way to get some kind of money from me. He apologized for asking me, and said he will figure it out. To be fair he only asked after I kept pressuring him, because he wasn’t acting like himself and I knew something was on his mind. I really love this guy and be says he loves me and I trust that. However as soon as I see that he asked for money it made me question everything. Does he truly love me or does he want money. I constantly told him that I don’t have much. So I don’t know why be would want me for that. I’m just confused. He’s talking marriage, and I want to marry him, but how do I know it’s real. I don’t want to stereotype him just because he’s from Nigeria and asking for money. If it were a boyfriend in the U.S. where I’m from I wouldn’t have add many reservations. Please help!!!

    Truth or fake “love” ???
    by: Anonymous
    I have read many thinks about Nigerian men, i have hear many too… But i met one guy from Nigeria in my country. He is alone here and he has applied for asylum here. We are in relationship about 5 months now. We are not in a hurry to continue our relationship neither then, nor now. small small keep going… We do not live in same house, and he never asked anything from me till now. The only, to be truthful and faithful with him, to understand him and to respect him. So, we discuss about many thinks, we do many things together, he is speaking me about his culture, about Nigeria, about his life, and i see, that he really show me interest to learn about me. One day asked me to go together to his church, and i did. He looked very happy and ask to do this every Sunday. He says that his plans about our relationship is to get married when he will be ready to to that by economical view, because (he says) in his culture man is the head of the house and have to take care of his wive, to be good together. He wants to have children and one day to go together at Nigeria, to meet his parents.I see that he always speaking to me ant plan together… except that, he sayd me that i should try to be near to his people (from Nigeria) and when i show him interest about his mother language, he sayd me that he will help me to learn it! He was really very happy to hear me speaking his mother language (small small) hehe – but, how to understand that this guy really wants me because of love???

    Inlove but confused
    by: Anonymous
    I met this Nigerian guy on fb, Im in SA and he is in Nigeria. we chatted till were used to each other. He asked me to marry him and I agreed. He said he will be coming to SA in February, but now hes telling me that hes short of money for the ticket I must help him out, Im so confused because he said he is a doctor in Nigeria. I love him very much but now Im a bit confused why being a doctor is asking money to fly to SA, Pls advise me.

    How to understand if he is truthful with me?
    by: Anonymous
    I am dating a Nigerian guy 2 months now. We make some thinks together, like to speak about many subjects, go for a walk, stay together at home… He says that he loves me, and want to create a family with me. Specially he wants to have 3 children and be forever together. He looks to speak seriously about these, the only, that he asked me time to be ready. That means that he try to find a job, make his home, his papers, help his family at Nigeria. After these, he said that he will be free to continue our relationship. ok. everything good till now… Se said that man is the head of the house, and has to take care about wife, children, everything. Many times asking me if i am playing a game with him, or if i mean my words to him, if i kidding him. Ok. But some times he is asking me somethings, and i feel uncomfortable, because my economical condition is not so good…And getting in trouble… So how could i understand if he really means these that telling me… how to understand after all i have read and listen about Nigerian man, if is he truthful with me???

    Is he being truthful? I love him!
    by: Anonymous
    Hi. I am very much in love with a Nigerian man. He currently lives in Accra, Ghana. We are both 27. I’m an concerned if he is being truthful, does he really love me? It feels real.. Is he who he says he is??. We Skype and chat on WhatsApp, for the past 8 months now. What arrived me to questions are his inconsistencies. He has been in a financial runt since we began talking. He planned to be here in January, May also.. His visa was declined for overstaying her says. I don’t think he’s ever been here honestly. We met on facebook. I saw a picture of his daughter with a man. The comments basically insinuated that the man was the father of my bf’s daughter. Shocked I asked him and he blocked me from facebook and WhatsApp and eventually adds me back. He has never answered the question of he lied about daughter. He claims to love me and want to get married and that he’s celibate waiting for a wife. He’s handsome and very kind. I have sent him money to help done of his financial problems. It concerns me because I’m not sure if he lied to get the money or does he really love me and not wanting citizenship or doesn’t if that nature. Please help! Don’t want to waste my time. I do love him. There’s more, so much more. Too much include all at once. Can I have an opinion please? Thank you!!

    Nigerian men good pretenders
    by: Anonymous
    I dated this nigerian guy for a the beginning I’ve never been loved like this,he lost his Job not a good job anyway,I took care of him like his my child,my son moved out,His gambling,a lot.on our 1 year unnivesary my son caame back home,he started changing,we had misunderstanding he burst and swear at me in front of my kids,calling me old fool,witch,destiny killer,he should have dated younger girls.I’m 42 his 39.I just pack his things and ask him to leave my house.Ladies nigerian and cameroonian guys thell do anything for their own as fast as you can.
    My nigeria experience
    by: Pam
    My Nigerian guy doesn’t even have a job..he tried to scam me at first, I caught him. So now he says truth to me….I hope..☺so he’s in hospital for injury to his leg I gave him some cash to get in.I didn’t trust him..I only gave him cash to get him in to needs more money
    .I refuse to send more..I’m not stupid..if he truly loves me he will work it out..he says he has noone else..well I can’t help that.. he wants to marry me and is way younger than me…but I will not support him..things get real know all the romanticall stuff involved..idk I can walk away..but I might be having to much fun!.don’t want anyone to get hurt though..hope someone responds to this…Juliette ☺

    Dating a Nigerian men
    by: Anonymous
    There’s so handsome and there accents are sexy but feel there full of shit to be honest. I’ve been dating one for almost two months and he seems like he’s to busy or there’s Someone esle. I went to the movies with him and he was texting a few other women I’m not upset completely because nothing is official and we’re taking it slow but it’s really rude and inconsiderate kinda disrespectful and he tried to hide the phone from me like I was stupid. I’m learning more about Nigerian men and all I heard is bad things like they put there family and mother before there marriage, there controlling, there abusive and they cheat on there wife’s or can have affairs or marry a few women. I would like to not think what I heard was true but it hard not to listen. For one the guy I’m seeing said he cheated several times and the fact that there so sex hungry or they play so many games. Personally I hevent heard from him or talk to him the day he dropped me off from the movies we were suppose to go out the next day or he said he would call me which of course nothing happened so I decided to move on I’m happy it’s not more serious and I haven’t grown feelings for him but you think I did right by cutting him off or give him another chance

    Nigerian man – No! No!
    by: Anonymous
    I met this Nigerian guy in Malaysia. Im a Singaporean. We dated for about 10 mths. Most of the time I will be the one travelling to Malaysia as I dont need Visa. Everything went well. Never asked for help except once when he got stuck to pay his house rental. One day he finally dropped the bomb! Asked me for US30K! To fence up his land in Lagos or else his land would get confiscated by others who can offer more for the land!? I dont have the money but he doesnt believe me. Yelled at me over the phone n he broke up with me immediately. Told me not to call him anymore. He also blocked me on his Whatsapp. I did some research. Sent email to a property/land construction company in Lagos. Fencing 2 plots of land in Lagos the cost is just US1K. I was heartbroken initially but moved on since then. Never a Nigerian man ever again.

    Is he for real?
    by: CanadaGal
    Been talking to a Nigerian man I met online for over a year now. I am from Canada. He calls me multiple times a day both on video and audio calls. He messages me all throughout his day. We laugh and share ideas and get along very well. we are trying to get him a visitor visa so we can meet in my hometown. He has sent me the data page of his passport and I have referenced it and it clears that he is who he says he is. His address checks out on google maps as being exactly where he says he is from. I have investigated where he works and it checks out. He has introduced me to his parents over video call and his siblings and many many friends. He has a picture that he made out of mine and his photo put together as his profile picture for all social media he is on. He has given me his passwords for email and social media. He has sent me money through MoneyGram for my birthday. I have his account details at his bank so I could call and see if the account existed and that his name was the same. I have scanned every dating website imaginable and can’t find him. I have reverse image searched every picture of himself that he sends to me and all that comes up are the social media I am already aware he is on. I have his real phone number as well as his parents contact details. I feel like I have done all the research I can and it all comes back that he is being honest with me about everything. Now my question being is this for real?

    Is he cheating
    by: Anonymous
    I started dating this Nigerian guy about 2months ago.we met on a we spoke he began to tell me that has interested and wanted to exchange numbers.after 2days he said he was in love and asked if I would consider marrying him…….THIS IS WHERE MY GUY FEELINGS KICKED IN….I myself told him I rather wait until I’m 29ish 30. (I’M 27 now)He accepted that offer,After some weeks of talking more he’s telling me I have trust issues.the reason being is because I asked about him as an African man is it true about you guys wanting to marry for a greencard?.We’re going back and forth still trying to trust each other(remind you to he made me his girlfriend 4days after and I was stupid to accept)so we’re dating.So his answer was that he only want to find true love .he only want to marry once.I ask
    Led how could you fall in love so fast and not knowing the person he told he well it about… with is conversation we’re speaking about our past relationships.and has telling me about a oler woman he dated and her son.long story short I ended up meeting this women through a friend which happens to his sister.(so my friend and bf ex girl are met and she a rough girl me I’m more on the gentle she’s messaging him and he’s messaging her but he’s not messaged messaging me.then his ex starts showing me messages of him saying he’s not in a relationship and he’s calling her babe he loves after 20mind of speaking with her I left and received a message from him saying he’s breaking up with me because I spoke b d about him which I didn’t,that I lied on things he said and he never disrepected her.he also told her while I was their that he has a better chance with me then …..later that said he was hurt and that we can make things first that situation meeting his ex I thought it was a negative sign telling me to leave him but then I started thinking if he’s such a bad guy why does she still want him back and message him……the next day we tried to rekindle what happened the day before.Its jus solo much I just can type

    Nigerian man Wants to marry me
    by: Anonymous
    I also met a Nigerian man he seems genuine but I’m not sure if he’s completely honest. He is on 2nd marriage the wife is expecting 2nd child now he states they haven’t been getting along for the longest she has no respect for him and shows no love or interest the 2nd child was conceived through make up sex an attempt to save the marriage. His plan is to divorce after the birth of the child he states according to him and his mother she was well aware of pending divorce and she is ok with it. He wants to marry me and states he loves me was upfront about needing permanent residency but states that he wants us to be together because he loves me. He constantly talks about the stigma of having 2 failed marriages and wants when we get married he wants it to work but I still have my doubts. I’ve known him now only 1 month but he has been generous, calm a very good personality but I still have my doubts and he also talks about God a lot. What is your take on him. I don’t want to get myself into something I will reget later. I do care about him a lot.

    If i am being fooled by nigerian man
    by: Anonymous
    I meet him online and we started to talk we started talking on the phone we also talk video calls but i do not know if he is playing me for what he can get i asked about his family he told he how many there are and where he was in the line he will tell me when he goes out with friends mozt of the time he will message me while he is out he sends pics of him out and he sent a video while he was out but he is always saying i complete him and ge loves me he sent me pics from work and when i asked for his address he was hesitant at first but he did give it cause he said he loved me and he had too i have heard so many different things i am doubting this i use whatsapp to talk to him and i have his pic as my profile pic and i post on his fb wall but i make it just so we can see it he said i could post anything we have talked bout me going there and it will be in few months he has asked me to help him get something but i am worried i love him and i dont want to be played. My friend told me my doubts are natural anx i talked to him about it and he was like if you are gonna listen to your friends about us. I am so

    So conflicted
    by: Mel
    I started talking to a nigerian man online we have been getting along well we said i love you quickly and we have been talking all dads and until he falls asleep we video chat and call ea other i have been told so many things about nigerian men that I am doubtful of things now I plan on visiting in few months he seems genuine but there are suitors for him there and I am worried that he will chose someone closer he says there is not enough room in his heart for another but there are times he does not answer for awhile and he goes with his friends and sometimes he is quiet about those certain outings others he is very informative am I letting tLk get to me

    To Watchman
    by: Anonymous
    I am answering AMY I BEING FOOLED BY MY NIGERIAN BOYFRIEND I am not in my teens I had a relationship before this i went bad I met my nigerian borfriend online we speak everyday and send pics and video call all though the week and work day I have heard so many different things about nigerian men and what they can & can’t do but I have asked him about all these he says he does what he thinks not what other ppl think there are nigerian girls also showing interest I get worried cause he is secretive when i ask he does answer but I have suspicious thoughts due to me having to travel there and he never talks bout specifics it’s all about he needs me or wants me there am I being overly doubtful so much to addh

    A man in Sapele Nigeria saddly letting go
    by: Anonymous
    Nigerian man met me online. Confessed he loved me quickly. After his persistence I eventually said it back plus we were both believers so it wasn’t hard to say. Long story short I was skeptical ask questions and the only time I felt uses was when he ask me to open up a account wih $500 and how it would help me have multiple streams of income. Other than that he sent pictures videos and messages on Whatsapp often. Until that shortened up. When I ask why he said I ruined his day. I was shocked. Being trying to get to know one another for a few months.Sweetest man I have ever met. But he say his money issues keeps us from talking as much. And for me to be understanding. My gut tells me Ive been dumped to the back burner. He mentioned his wife and that the marriage is over. I found that out by accident thru facebook. I really liked this guy but when he dropped talking to me from a hundred times a day to almost never I became weary. Why did he seek me out only to drop me?

  6. Other Commenters  September 3, 2017

    Am I being Fooled
    by: Anonymous

    To the last poster, let me guess… you are 17 or 18 and probably fallen in love the first or second time. The truth is that long distance chats are often wonderful and romantic but in the end nothing comes out of it, especially when you are not independent. To cut the long story short, you are dealing with a player and you may loose money and your heart too. I would however like to know what you guys usually talk about.
    in a marriage to get his stay papers
    by: real and true

    been with him form the begining told me right from the start the situattion have trhed to leave him thru the years but he willl not ihave it last year is coming up for ihim tn get papers should ii see it thru are leave now and save my ♡ from being broken because he want leave her he says there is nno love between them stricley for his papers
    nigerian caller
    by: Anonymous

    I have been talking to this man from Nigeria for a couple of months now he says he lives in louisanna butwhen I checked into the name an address he gave me it was not true he talks of his love for me an wants to be with me he says he is in Nigeria on business now when we talk I hear children sometimes in the background an then I hear like a mess ofpeople talking an computers when I ask him about this he comment is it is noise in Nigeria I confronted him an told him I know he is not who he says he is an I know he has never lived in louisanna he gets upseti think he is a scammer I told him this but I told him to that he had my heart no matter what an whoever he is I still love him I thought I could get him to tell me the truth but no luck yet how do I find out who this man really is
    Just forget him
    by: David

    To the last poster, I would advice that you forget that guy, he is a scammer. sorry.
    Need advice
    by: Natasha

    I met a Nigerian man on a dating site. We met and have dated for about three months. He had told me about his trials of him trying to get citizenship or being able to remain in the US. He had been open and is now telling me every effort has failed. He had been the perfect gentleman. He had met my family and I have met his dear friend. He has asked me to marry him in the very near future so he can remain in the US. We appear to have a great relationship…but I think it is to soon to marry.
    marry him
    by: David

    Ok, too early for marriage? well, it depends on your age and other factors
    Need advice
    by: Natasha

    I’m 45…I mean too soon to marry because we’ve only known each other for 3 months. I have been in a bad marriage before. Only two years since divorce was finalized and I have four boys, young men…20, 17 and 15 year olds.
    by: Anonymous

    I met my nigerian boyfriend 2 years ago..we are pretty much in love but there’s a problem. He’s married with two kids. His family is in nigeria. I didn’t know about this until 6 months into the relationship where I was hurt so bad but still held on after he begged me not to leave. He claimed that his relationship is on the rocks (which I know is true up to a point) and that he really loves me and never wanna leave me. He talks abt future plans with me etc. He’s an amazing guy and I love him with all my heart and sometimes I can’t help worrying abt the future. He said he cannot get a divorce now cuz his wife is gonna keep his kids away forever. Everytime i bring up the topic he says lets not worry abt the future and just be happy. I just need some advice on this please. 🙁
    understanding a Nigerian man
    by: Anonymous

    I am an African American woman dating a Nigerian man. We have been together for 3 1\2 months. Things were good in the beginning,but now I feel a distant. We have talked about marriage and having a child next year but he is not ready to meet mt parents. It seems as if he would rather be alone than be around me at times. It seems more like a sexual relationship. I ask him do he know anything about being a boyfriend and he says he doesn’t. His past relationships has only been based off sex.if that’s the case he doesn’t need to be with me we could have a friends with benefits relationship but he ask to be with me. I dont understand him at all and everytime I say we should be friends we end back together. I like him because he has been someone to help me control my anger to better myself. I dont think he is cheating on me. We work together and we pretty much both work everyday . I just don’t know what to think of this relationship. Should I call it quits or stay and try to find a solution to better our relationship.
    Wake UP!!!!!!.. they are FAKE…….LIARS & USERS….
    by: Anonymous

    My Friends….. & all the naive women that on here talking about how they don’t know if they should leave or being used by these Nigerians so called ‘lovers’ you all need to wake up! and smell the coffee… maybe even read your own posts. These men are SCAMMERS… USERS… HEART-BREAKERS.. . only with you for their own benefits -nothing more. Love shouldn’t be so confusing and you shouldn’t be questioning, guessing or even coming here to ask if they love you or what should you to do to keep him Happy -PLEASE WAKE UP!!!. .. those Nigerian men are so SMART.. . & it’s sad to see how they go about taking advantage of good- hearted Women around the world. I’ve been in three relationships; two was online(internet & BBM/blackberry) and one was in person; he was an international student who got married to his kind after breaking up with me for no apparent reasons. Anyways what I’m saying I’ve experienced all what your saying and all the doubts your having -been there & it’s all the same – feel like I’m reliving my experience by just reading your comments/questions. My advice to you all is to leave while you can, forget about the so called ‘love’ don’t put your heart into it at all -unless if you wanna get hurt. Those men are only there for their advantage, sex, money and most of them do have their own family-married… .with kids. Unless if you just want fun go ahead but never put your heart and money into this ‘love game’. God BLESS.
    Nigerian conman?
    by: Anonymous

    Up until last week I was seeing a Nigerian man for 3 months. I finished the relationship as I wasn’t sure about him but I’ve also been busy in my personal life and couldn’t be bothered with the ‘not knowing’ with everything else on my plate. I’m here because I would like other people’s views on whether I was right to be suspicious of him.
    I met him at work. We went out a number of times but the relationship didn’t progress into anything. Other than rubbing my cheek no advances were made by him whatsoever sexually. I assumed this was because he is a Christian.
    Then, some of the things he said raised a red flag with me. First he told me he had bought a Lexus (he was otherwise without a car) however, a few days later he told me he had to return the car but he was vague on why. I think it was said to impress me.
    He also told me he was unhappy in his flat and wanted to move somewhere bigger – get his own house. It wasn’t until a week before he was to move out of his flat that he actually sprung on me he had handed in his notice but hadn’t found anywhere to live. He told me he had tried with various agencies but ‘no one wanted him’. I found this strange as he is a professional working for a well renowned company. He started to drop hints about moving in with me but I wouldn’t allow that since I didn’t know him and my house is currently under renovation and practically inhabitable at the moment. As we live 45 miles apart, he has never been to my house so he wasn’t aware of the state it’s currently in. After he came to understand that it seemed like he didn’t have a problem with finding new accommodation except he never moved into his own house. Instead he went into a house share. He also mentioned a few times about ‘my millions’ (I’m a high earning professional) and said things like he wanted a Mercedes like mine.
    Soon after I started dating him I came to realise he wasn’t what I thought he was. He appears quite irresponsible and a bit immature but he did but me expensive perfume and always insisted on paying for dinner. Was this an investment?
    When I ended the relationship I saw a slightly different side to him. He had always appeared to be quiet, courteous, Christian-like etc but when I told him I didn’t quite understand our relationship and didn’t want anything else but just friendship he laughed and made out he had no interest in me that way anyhow and that he was going to call me later just to make that straight. I told him that was not necessary since we had just both agreed that it was a plutonic relationship. He looked as if his ego had been dented. So this made me wonder, is he a conman? Something just didn’t add up. He spoke of children, asked a lot about my background and what I wanted in life. It made me think that he was viewing me as a future wife. But he never told me much about himself and I have never been to his house. I know he is not married.
    I started to look for info on him and found he has a business that is active but I don’t believe he’s actually trading anything. I also found two different dates of birth for him. What do you think is going on?
    I just don’t understand why a Nigerian guy doesn’t want sex (he says he respects me too much for that) but tried to move in with me, wines and dines me and buys me designer perfume?

  7. Jane  September 3, 2017

    does my nigerian boyfriend really love me?

    About 4 months ago i started chatting to this nigerian guy through a friend and nigerian guy she was chatting to on bbm. We said i love you in under a week. As he didnt have bbm we chtted most days on whatsapp then due to money struggles on his part he could not afford to get whatsapp for his phone so i would then call him every night. Upon calling him it had to be on his when he would ring and hang up or usually he would tell me to ring him around 11pm nightly. A month into our chatting he told me he wasnt the guy that he was claiming to be in the pictures he sent me, this startled me and left me confused n hurt but I forgave this and we moved on. Until later the next month he asked me for some money to attend a family naming ceromony as he didnt have money for new clothes or a gift, I couldnt help him and explained this to him and he accepted my reasons. Lately when i call him he barely speaks on the phone i sometimes have to call his name a number of times to check he hasnt fallen asleep and he would answer me after a few times of calling his name. Other days he is full of chat and giggles, I asked him why is this and he said its because he is shy. Other bbm friends from nigeria that i chat with and have told my story to have told me he is only chatting with me as his friend and my friend are chatting and that he is getting fed up and tired of keeping up pretences and that i deserve better. Me and my friend were planning a trip over to meet the 2 best friends that live together but the guy im chatting with has made it clear that he does not want me to stay with him in his home and has given me multiple reasons like they will have no privacy as his friends just walk in anytime they reason was because he may not be living there by that time and he may be moved back home with his mother. This baffled me as my friend that is chatting to his friend has told her he would rather her stay with him and these 2 guys live in the same house.

  8. Editor  September 3, 2017

    Commenting Rules

    Please before you post here and if you really want your question to get answered you must be willing to provide a detailed information about your man and why you think he is cheating on you. This thread is for white girls that feel like their Nigerian boyfriend is cheating or trying fool them.

    This accusation or suspicion must be backed up by a concrete hypothesis if you want to get answers from members of this forum.

    You should answer the following question in your story;

    1 Why do you think he is just trying to fool you? Instances, facts and behaviours that aroused your suspicion.

    2 tell us whether you have employed any tactic at all in a bid to resolve the situation

    3 what were his response?

    Thank you

    • Joyce rodgers  February 12, 2018

      I dated this Nigerian guy online for almost a year! He got too another parts of the United States and dumped me! He was supposed too come to my state too meet me!

  9. J Morgan  September 3, 2017

    How to satisfy my Nigerian boyfriend?
    I am also dating a Nigerian man and would like to satisfy him the Afriacn way, the thing is that I am a white girl and I keep hearing that African men are not satisfied by white girls and my question is why is this so? What should I do to be outstanding? Please I need your urgent help!

  10. Watch Man  September 3, 2017

    If You are being fooled by a Nigerian Man?
    I would so love to help you with this issue but I need to learn a lot more about the situation. What is he doing that prompted the question? Is he showing too much attention? Depending more on you than what is required? Do you think he is asking too much from you or taking advantage of you?

    There are many angles to thish

    • Sheila  October 12, 2017

      Hi . I decided to try online dating and found many offers from Nigerian men. One who struck me was one guy slightly younger than me but was persistent. I decided to give him a try. He actually offered to get me a ticket to go see him. Am in the uk , he is living with family in Italy. It was going well until he asked me of I could boost his account in order for him to apply for a visa to come visit me then he will refund it. Now , this scared me coz how can you ask someone for money a week into a relationship and he get angry when I tell him I can’t do it coz I have been used once and I won’t do it. He swears he is genuine. I almost believe home sometimes. Now the calls are not as regular and I feel l should trust my gut instinct to drop this relationship even though it feels sweet. Am however weary of being duped and dumped . Kindly advise.

      • Stacey gesese  December 30, 2017

        I have a similar situation I’m married to a Nigerian man and now he don’t want to get a job he just keeps wanting from me I don’t know what to do

      • Charles  March 10, 2018

        Hello Sheila, it is quite revealing that this guy is not a true love neither a true friend. Don’t spend your money and your heart on him. Any genuine lover would not request a dime from you but will always want to show you love by giving. Remain blessed.

    • Giselle  October 29, 2017

      Help! Please share your thoughts with me. So I met a nice looking guy on instagram. I am in the US and he is in Lagos. We facetime constantly and he seems to be falling in love with me. I just am so distrustful after reading so many romance scamming stories. To prove he is not a scammer (I often accuse him), he has provided me all his identifying information (passport, police records, university degrees..) but still i am hard to trust him. He has never asked me for money. In fact for my birthday he sent me some pretty cool gifts. He is working on getting his US visa approved (not doing it through me but through work). I was able to get a Nigerian Visa (he provided me an invitation letter) and I am thinking of visiting. He would be purchasing my airfare. I have talked to his friends that i see around him and have also stalked his circle of friends on social media. They all seem to checkout fine with the only thing that stand out from them is that they flaunt a lot of opulence. My question, if I do visit is there any other tactic they might try to scam me? what should I watch out for?

    • Antionette Irvin Ouda  December 31, 2017

      Yes that is happing and he never won’t to do things with me he also will not sleep with me also keep saying that is has to work and he work all the rime and never have any money he also have a problem with letting me see his check subs and a lot more things what dose

    •  February 3, 2018

      Hi I met this Nigerian guy on social media almost 1.5 years ago . We started talking to each other on 08-7-16. The first time we met each other was on 10-17-17. I went to visit him in Atlanta three times . His actions don’t match his words . I am 24 years old and he’s 34 years old . He introduced me to his brother this month,but that doesn’t mean anything . Ultimately, I think he’s a good guy , but I don’t think he will ever take me serious because of my age . I went to visit three times and he has only offered me gas money once . I love him, but sometimes I feel like walking away from the whole situation. We had sex at the end of last year too. He seem to have a hard time to commit . I really do not know what to do at this point .


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